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Gregg Turkington’s Classic Movie Time – Episode 2


Gregg Turkington’s Classic Movie Time – Episode 2


120 thoughts on “Gregg Turkington’s Classic Movie Time – Episode 2

  1. Thanks for proving once again Gregg that you are nothing but a pawn in Tim’s twisted games. Just look at the chump chores he has you out on while he takes in the dough back at Hei Headquarters.

  2. Thank you for your service, Gregg. The pregnant pause before you revealed the running time delivered more chills, thrills, and spills than the entirety of Jack Reacher

    1. I don’t think Gregg actually made this video. We never actually see him. Could it be Mark Porch doing one of his legendary impressions??? WAKE UP people

        1. Larue will get to the bottom of it as soon as he’s healed. He’s on the case.

    2. What’s ironic is that Tim Heidicker is currently in Italy filming JACK REACHER 3: THE REACHAROUND.

      The idea that he would bother granting “permission” while he’s overseas getting blown by Florentine whores and checking his Operating Thetan levels is ABSURD!

      And AXIOM is in the bowels of ROCK HOUSE choking on his own sick . . . degenerate one-handed bastard.

  3. Brilliant! Thanks for the 411, so informative!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. I get more than my money’s worth of news and ploticals commentsry from this website. But I have to say seeing this very low effort vhs trash “videos” from Gregg still feels like a rip off.
      It’s like eating a steak at a delicious smart restaurant and then the after dinner minute is tastes bad like trash! No thanks, just another helping of more Timsteak place.

  4. With all the amazing resources provided by HEI Network youd think Gregg could make quality content, but this TRASH is all he’s capable of. Where is Axion? Please Tim, end this charade!

  5. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat after a nightmare about a world without Hollywood. Then I quickly go back to sleep as I remember it’s in good hands with the #1 movie expert Greegg T. Long live Tinseltown!!

    1. Remarkable that–nearly 20 years later–the location is virtually unchanged.

      Just wish Craig had mentioned the sophisticated treatment of race issues the film so expertly juggled . . .

    1. Take another chug outta Matt Newman’s foamy piss jug, you scat-munching FREAK!
      I bet it’s two big bowls of red beans & you’re ready for the night!

  6. Thanks to the mobile VFA, Gregg always has the right movie at hand whenever he passes a historic filming location in Victorville. It’s Classic Movie Time wherever he goes! An inspiration to us all.

  7. the folowing is an encore presentation.

    This is the second post of my new segment WARDROBE CLASSICS. I’m EdithHead2022 and in this episode I’m excited to spotlight WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S II (1993, 97 mins), costume design by Fionn. The film stars Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman, seen here in some of their WEEKED AT BERNIE’S II outfits:
This has been WARDROBE CLASSICS with me, EdithHead2022. Good night… and good wardrobe!

    1. Wait, here it is with a working link apologies to all fans and fingers crossed

      the folowing is an encore presentation.

      This is the second post of my new segment WARDROBE CLASSICS. I’m EdithHead2022 and in this episode I’m excited to spotlight WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S II (1993, 97 mins), costume design by Fionn. The film stars Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman, seen here in some of their WEEKED AT BERNIE’S II outfits:
 This has been WARDROBE CLASSICS with me, EdithHead2022. Good night… and good wardrobe!

    1. Well it is better than NOTHING which is what Tom Heidecker’s network mostly delivers! No dancing! No Toni! Where is Fatherhead content? Mr. Moneys? Even that unshaven lunatic face is better than NOTHING!

      1. You’ve actually got a good point about “Mr. Money” Jo-Jo Estevez.
        To have a crack financial wizard like him around just kept on ice seems like a wasted opportunity.

        Have Craig and Unca Jo-Jo team up for a mini-festival of THE FILMS OF JOE’S NEPHEWS!
        >ST. ELMO’S FIRE (1985, 170 min)
        >MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986, 98 min)
        >THE WRAITH (1986, 93 min)
        >FREEJACK (1990, 110 min)
        >MEN AT WORK (1990, 98 min)

        It’s VFA Time, baby! ALL THE TIME!

  8. Mr. Heidecker tweeted that he is aware of the poor reviews of these segments as well as their pointlessness. I have vented my frustrations plenty, and I hope that this is the last of this nonsense. I am in dire financial straits and the only reason I paid money for this site is to help dig myself out of my money problems that are burying me. I hope the next segment/article/anything here is a Joe Moneybagsboy Estevez financial advice article or video article. I know I am not alone. #giveusjoe

    1. Also, why does Greg Turktan look directly at the camera in every single f@cing Decker episode. It’s such a well-made, well-written, well-directed show, and he ruins every scene he’s in by staring right into the camera and breaking the 4th wall. Really takes me out of the world-building that Tim was able to create. A shame, really.

    2. You’re being naive, you undead freakish mundunugu.
      Tim Newman’s WIFE is likely sending out those tweets, since Timmy is off getting his pole waxed over in Italy!

      At this point, HEI is literally held together by Craig “TURK 182!” Kington, baling wire, spit, inertia, and the screws left over from reassembling Roy St. Charlemagne la Roux’s pulverized femurs.

      1. Tim bleeds the Stars and Strips. No way in hell is he over in some commie European country. It’s also defamation to claim he is not tweeting his own tweets.

        1. Would a true, full-bloodied American Male take his wife’s husband’s last name as his own?

          FACT: Toni wears the pants & signs the checks!
          And all the Nepalese caterpillar fungus in the world won’t change that, you creepy voodoo Samedi!!

    3. My sister in law is a doctor and makes good money and has a nice condo that’s paid off totally. So I don’t see what the problem for you is. Maybe charge your patience more?

    4. Money advise is BOring. You can’t take it with you past the grave! That is why i want fatherhead and gaming news and TIPS, and dancing. Not Money.

    1. AXIOM’s high all right!
      He’s seven seconds from Pluto on adrenochrome and brake fluid!
      He’s ‘Tussed up and twitching spasmodically in a congealed pool of human effluent in the sub-basement of ROCK HOUSE!

    2. Credit to Tim, even after Axion failed miserably as Mister Movies, he knew he needed someone to get high in the sky to get eyes in the sky to get a bird’s eye view of the Hei Network movie division, and he saw the potenshle in Ax.

  9. Hey Gregg! Quick question. Is National Security an unofficial installment in the National Treasure franchise starring Nicolas Cage? I only wonder because the word “National” is in both titles. Or is it part of the National Lampoon’s milieu of comedies? Or, since it is both action/adventure and comedy, is it the link connecting both those franchises to the same cinematic universe? Regardless of your answer I will be screening all of these National movies for my Summer Movie Challenge! Thanks!

    1. I was concerned too about the lack of fatherhood knowledge until I re-watched the last Oscer special. It was very subtle, especially on first viewing, but Tim put on a master class of fathering when he dealt with Mat. It was a lesson filled with insights to last me for at least my first 2 children when I eventually meet a woman, take her on dates, get married and have unprotected sex so there will be a resulting pregnancy and I will be a father and be able to use the fatherhood knowledge installed in us through the Oscer special by Tom.

    1. If you think this is quality content, what isn’t? A 404 error message page would be quality too by your standards. Do you eat out of dumpsters behind restaurants as well for quality dinning?

  10. Another winner! Keep them coming, Mr. Movies!

    88 mins is a little on the shorter side for my taste, but with Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn, you got a lot of laughs per minute.

  11. This kind of innovative and thought provoking content is what keeps me coming back for more! I’d add Natl Secuty to my list of Greater 88’rs! The list of greater movies that are 88 mins long. Feel free to add yours, fellow movie buffs!

    1. Fun Fact: The Movie 88 Minutes (2007) starring On Cinema Fan Favorite Al Pacino is actually 108 minutes long. Seems like false advertising, but I’ll take an extra 20 minutes of Mr. Pacino on the silver screen, any day!

  12. Watching this movie made me physically feel like I went through what democracy movement leader Kim Jong Tae went through during 22 days of torture as portrayed in 2012’s National Security (110m)

  13. Mister Movies Axiom should be fillming these! Just cause you make one mistake about the oscers shoudn’t keep you from giving movie expertise in the future!

    1. This movie was a 5 bagger for me. Matin Lawrence and Steve Zahn proved to me that it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white there’s a difference between wrong and right. It’s written down for all to see it’s the US CONSTITUTION it’s all you need

        1. Yep. Virtually eliminated.
          And BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON (2011, 107 min) essentially ended sexism after its release.
          That Martin Lawrence is a got-damn miracle worker!

  14. It isn’t as good as Black Knight(2001, 95 minutes) but it’s really hard to top such an outstanding and hilarious movie. It got me through the times following 9/11 entirely by itself. I give it 5 bags of popcorn and one of the big turkey legs you always see medieval kings eating.

  15. Tim needs to take control of this situarion Gregg is producing subpar contents these videos have no style no intriguing jus cheap camera phone footage of gregg Burlington running his mouth off about films he has not researchrd. Tim please CANCEL movie time!

  16. Segment Ideas:

    1. Popcorn Classics: The Year and the Year Before with Craig AND Axiom. Craig does a popcorn classic and Axiom does a popcorn classic that came out exactly one year before. This will celebrate Axiom’s disastrous debut that led to Hei acquiring VFA.

    2. This Date in Runtimes: So like on 7/1 you do a popcorn that is 71 mins runtime.

    3. All time Runtime Awards: The best 89 minute movie of all time. Go through all of the runtimes.

    1. Number one is funny but AX will never approve it, flying and soaring high above. Unless Tom, flying eagle like even higher, approves it over his head.

  17. National Security grossed $54M worldwide. That is a valuable VHS tape to be lugging around to sketchy parts of town. Be careful, Gregg! You are the only one of Tim’s leaches (with the exception of Mr. Money Joe Estevez) contributing anything to this HIE Network.

  18. “We the People Liberate Ourselves” – subversive commentary about how soon gregg is going to be throwing off the yoke of tim heidekcker’s oppression.

    1. The only thing true cinema lovers need is the TRT (Total Run Time).
      As far as story, plot, or scenario it doesn’t matter: the only thing you need to know is there will be MORE WALKING.

  19. I don’t usually watch anything under 100 minutes but Martin Lawrence is one of actings all time greats and is soon to win the Golden Globe Lifetime Achievement Award

    1. Coincidentally, Lawrence is receiving the highly coveted Golden Globe Lifetime Achievement Award largely due to his performance in BIG MAMA’S HOUSE (2000, 99min).
      Coincidentally, the titular house from BIG MAMA’S HOUSE would make a great segment for a future Classic Movie Time!

  20. Who would have thought the lovechild of Popcorn Classics and On Location would have been so poignant?

    Returning the tape to the filming location, like the cycle is complete. Birth to death. From play to end credits 88 mins plus previews. Beautiful in a way.

    A bravura review from the ever enlightening Mister Movies (real).

      1. As a subscr9ber myself I say no to that. Until there is SOMETHING, there should not be Nothing. Movies are pretty low behind gaming and falconry and virile endevours, but they are SOMETHING. What am i -aying for Bile? you said yourself your in the red, Can you afford Nothing?

        1. I can’t afford nothing. But it’s more likely than not that Craig is acting as a log jam to good and important content. Ax and Manuel and Tim and, more importantly, Joe, are balls deep in their own material but sifting through all of Turkeyman’s content has them blocked up. He needs to be fired ASAP. I will be issuing and official e-mail to that effect, demanding his immediate resignation from HEI and the VFA. If he chooses not to resign, then he will be fired with extreme prejudice

  21. I appreciate that you revealed the length of the film. I was considering watching it, but I said to myself “If it’s 90 minutes that’s just too long for me” but then it was 88 minutes so I was satisfied with that.

    I give this episode 5 bags 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿 and a novelty security badge 📛. You can put it on your key chain for good luck.

  22. This type of content is exactly why I subscribe to HEI! Sure, the production is a bit rough round the edges but that gives it more charm. WELL DONE, GREGG!

  23. You should bring the vhs sets of his series Martin on the main stage of Saturday Night Live (1975-Current, 120 minutes), where he once gave an amazing five-bagger monologue!

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