Hei Network OSCAR ANALYIST

Let/s face it, the Oscars are a total joke. At this point any movie which you have never even heard of would get nominated if it met certain criteria. Here are the list of Oscar movies nominated to win an Academy Award

  • “The Father” (David Parfitt, Jean-Louis Livi and Philippe Carcassonne, producers)
  • “Judas and the Black Messiah” (Shaka King, Charles D. King and Ryan Coogler, producers)
  • “Mank” (Ceán Chaffin, Eric Roth and Douglas Urbanski, producers)
  • “Minari” (Christina Oh, producer)
  • “Nomadland” (Frances McDormand, Peter Spears, Mollye Asher, Dan Janvey and Chloé Zhao, producers)
  • “Promising Young Woman” (Ben Browning, Ashley Fox, Emerald Fennell and Josey McNamara, producers)
  • “Sound of Metal” (Bert Hamelinck and Sacha Ben Harroche, producers)
  • “The Trial of the Chicago 7” (Marc Platt and Stuart Besser, producers)

I can assure you that no one has heard of any of these movies. Yes due the the Chana Virus many of our move established film makers were not able to make “their movies” leading to an absence of actual movies to be seen, which resulted in the list above. Maybe would go straight to video in an other era.  Above you will see no: Jurrasik Park or Citizen Cake, movies all love and make the grade and deserve Oscar. Why don’t wee see Tom Hanks starting in any movies this year? I spoke with the Original Mister Movies, Axiom and he agrees. “Popular movies no long get recognized by the academy, they are all these boring movies with no names.” He said.

Yes it’s true. Some of these movies may have some quality but I will never know as I will never have the chance to see them. They’re that bad.

Hei Network will be broadcasting comprehensive LIVE Oscar Coverage during the 93rd Annual Academy Awards, only on https://heinetwork.tv

41 thoughts on “Hei Network OSCAR ANALYIST

  1. TIM HEIDECKER PRESIDANT OF VFA    

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 1:53 am

    Great story

    1. James Maslow

      Posted April 11, 2021 at 4:09 pm

      I agree I fowaraded it to my family

    2. Newman Timothy Cruise Jr.    

      Posted April 11, 2021 at 11:37 pm

      It sounds like someone has a serious Oscar Fever and there’s a vaccine for it on April 25th!

      1. Jonathan Giusti

        Posted September 18, 2021 at 4:50 pm

        micro chip

    3. Jared Lego    

      Posted April 12, 2021 at 10:53 am

      Will Muncher win for Best Ghost? Time will tell.

    4. JUSTICE 4 VFA    

      Posted April 14, 2021 at 5:54 pm

      How dare you masquerade as the president of the VFA. We demand Gregg return with full creative control! JUSTICE 4 VFA

    5. Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-TX2:Judgement Day)

      Posted April 14, 2021 at 7:20 pm

      Finally, a precedent who isn’t afraid to ask the China question and, get to the bottom of oscar’s schemes.

      1. Tom Clarke

        Posted April 20, 2021 at 3:59 am

        Glad to see someone is standing upto Special Intersts and Teachers Unions atlast-

    6. Matt Billings

      Posted April 26, 2021 at 12:17 pm

      Everyone knows Axiom doesn’t know anything about movies (or music). Any symptoms of Oscar Fever that I had left were tossed aside by Axiom. Big Shame! 1

  2. Justin Gaynor

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 2:02 am

    Why are nothing but producers listed here? Where are the run times, directors, actors, etc?

    1. Jake McIntyre

      Posted April 11, 2021 at 2:15 am

      Producers are the entrepreneurs who make movie magic with their capital. Insiders like Axiom and Tim know this. Only the rubes care about runtimes and actors and plots – the true experts know that money is the name of the game.

    2. Jeremy Dyar

      Posted April 11, 2021 at 4:56 am

      How do I change my Avatar?

      1. Justin Gaynor

        Posted April 11, 2021 at 10:12 am

        Go to My Account > Account Details and use the form at the very bottom

        1. Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-TX2:Judgement Day)

          Posted April 22, 2021 at 11:37 am

          I cant access your account. It says I have the wrong password.

    3. HumprheyBoegy

      Posted April 21, 2021 at 1:01 pm

      Also why is Menk not mentioned as the Siticen Cane sequel?

    4. Christian Austin

      Posted May 13, 2021 at 7:48 am

      Greghead trigged.

  3. Michael Patton

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 2:16 am

    These eight films have forty bags between them. Am I paying for junk commentary like this? Where is the expertise?

  4. Flynn Daunt

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 3:01 am

    POPCOIRN

  5. Johnny Gifford

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 12:44 pm

    You’re forgetting about the most important OSCER category of then all- Best Idea for Mank (Gregg Turkingtin). Very disappointed

  6. mark zappala

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 9:26 am

    Any chance the Academy doesn’t pick a five bagger this year? No!

  7. Oscer-Head

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 9:33 pm

    comprehensive alanysis as always I espect nothing less from such great developers of HEI network.

  8. TimWasInnocent

    Posted April 12, 2021 at 3:32 pm

    Agree. These so-called “movies” (or Chinese propaganda?) are destroying the fabric of American life. Whatever happened to wholesome movies like Die Hard or Rambo that showed the value of our beautiful 2nd Amendment or our right to free speech?

    1. Adam Donley

      Posted April 13, 2021 at 10:56 am

      the hobbit was also quite wholesome, would recommend that one if you’re a die hard fan. but what do i know im not mister movies?

    2. HOLDEN MADICKEY

      Posted May 5, 2021 at 7:39 am

      Indeed! Now we get 160 minutes of a blind Asian man called “Sittin’ Zen with Cane” and are told this is ART! It means SOMETHING DEEP about the HUMAN CONDITION! HA!
      I say it’s just two hours and forty minutes of a guy wearing sunglasses holding a stick sitting by a river contemplating the meaninglessness of existence! ARRGGGHH!!!
      Give me Tom Cruise performing hetero-normative feats of brilliance! Give me a feast of testicular fortitude! Gleaming traps and lats, shiny thews and glistening taints blazing like soulfire in the dawn of an American morn! An oiled and swole Xenu ready to powerlift his way to the penthouse of Heaven! With JFK Jr. by his side!!

  9. Mitchell Kiss

    Posted April 12, 2021 at 5:52 pm

    I have not seen it but I hope “The Father” is about our one and only above

  10. danielbonner

    Posted April 12, 2021 at 7:30 pm

    I want my money back

    1. Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-TX2:Judgement Day)

      Posted April 14, 2021 at 7:26 pm

      That definitely won’t be a problem. I hear these guys have receipts for EVERYTHING.

  11. MattNewman    

    Posted April 14, 2021 at 9:02 am

    Tim, when will the bideo gaming section be open for viewing? I’m jonesin for some game cheats and such

  12. Matthew Chesnut

    Posted April 18, 2021 at 9:21 pm

    Hey is Owen here? I heard he has a tip on Dr. San’s location.

  13. no2SpecialIntersts

    Posted April 20, 2021 at 4:06 am

    hoping la Roux and Tim HIEDECKER can get to the root of the special intersts behind oscar for once and for all and finally.if You look around, its not hard to see whats going on, first a china virus and now they have these china movies too? not a concidense.

    1. Junyub Kim

      Posted July 24, 2021 at 1:43 am

      Actually Minari and Parasite(2019) are Korean film, whove been alliance to USA since 1950

  14. Logan Young

    Posted April 21, 2021 at 2:17 pm

    I’m going to reference this article in my film studies doctoral thesis

  15. Inherent Rice

    Posted April 21, 2021 at 7:44 pm

    donald trump probably looks directly at the oscars instead of filtering it through an oscar special, like when he did that with the moon.

  16. James Speaker

    Posted April 22, 2021 at 8:28 am

    All in preparation for Tom and Jerry (2021) to sweep the Academy next year!

  17. Faith Martin

    Posted April 22, 2021 at 1:44 pm

    Why no Hobbit movies on the list?

  18. Isak Sjursen

    Posted April 24, 2021 at 7:42 am

    This article as clearly written by somebody who doesn’t pay attention to film. A real movie expert would list the run times next to the titles of the films.

  19. Taylor Kelsey

    Posted April 24, 2021 at 10:02 am

    looking forward to it

  20. enda    

    Posted April 24, 2021 at 7:07 pm

    Tim hiedeckar says he doest have time to watch movies! He only has time to things like murder! Like murdering the electric sun 20! And now he is murdering the oscar special with no movie expertise! Not good!

    1. Junyub Kim

      Posted July 24, 2021 at 1:44 am

      no no it was Electric Sun 19
      not 20 u gregghead

  21. rogegr eberet

    Posted April 25, 2021 at 7:38 am

    these are all nonsense movies u are totally right tim
    – rogegr eberet, watcher cinemas

  22. HEI Network Admin

    Posted May 11, 2021 at 12:47 pm

    Greetings all loyal subscribers!
    Gregg Heads will be found and promptly banned.
    -Sincerely,
    Hei Network Admin

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