Failed Movie Critic Misfires on Website Launch

Just days before Christmas, in a desperate attempt to play catch up with Tim Heidecker’s very popular and successful Hei Network (launching in 2021) Gregg Turkington, accused Cider Terrorist and thief (no receipts for all this tapes) launched via.expert on Tuesday, as act which can only be considered it’s own form of thievery as Hei Network was first in the race to web dominance. “The paltry sight it not in good shape” a person with knowledge of the site remarked, while many online thought the site was not helpful and looked bad. “It was just a bunch of pictures of stolen tapes” many said.

Meanwhile, Hei continues to grow by leaps and bounds, with many visitors to the site satisfied with the features… and look forward to a successfull launch in the new year. While, Heidecker and the whole HEI family celebrate the holidays together, its no surprise that many expect Gregg Turkington to be alone, with his stolen goods, rewatching a boring movie for the hundredth time.

9 thoughts on “Failed Movie Critic Misfires on Website Launch

  1. iLoveSullyS51E2196

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 2:18 pm

    i think the site is good

    1. GreggTwerkington    

      Posted April 28, 2021 at 8:09 am

      I also think the site is also good

  2. Vinz Clortho

    Posted April 11, 2021 at 8:02 pm

    I hope that we can all finally get away from talking about those awful hobbit movies. Goodbye and good riddance!

  3. Tom Clarke

    Posted April 20, 2021 at 3:52 am

    who wants to hear from a guy who thinks Bond isn’t finished. Thank you, mr Bond but your times up. Now we have Jason Bourne and Jack Reacher starring Tom Cruise, I think well be ok thank you very much.

  4. Hunter Skowron

    Posted April 29, 2021 at 3:59 pm

    my mom says Gregg is safe with us and he can sleep in her bed. Gregg please contact me

  5. HOLDEN MADICKEY

    Posted May 10, 2021 at 2:47 pm

    HEI needs a show called “Larue’s Thews” or “Laroo’s Loins” that focuses exclusively on the grueling, tortuous road to recovery Laruix faces as surgeons attempt to screw & wire together his pulverized femurs. The show should be both charmingly naive and hideously graphic, sparing the viewer nothing.

  6. Sneert    

    Posted May 27, 2021 at 6:32 am

    yo, ware are the posts?

    WARE is greeg or yim? Ain’t no posts on this shit for a wile (i.e. this websight)

  7. Joel Fagerberg

    Posted June 12, 2021 at 11:00 am

    WRONG!! Real film buffs know how the VHS market works. smh >:[

  8. HEI Network Admin

    Posted June 21, 2021 at 5:35 am

    Greggheadds be warned- Keep your pro-Hobbit beliefs to yourself.

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